Template builds a
solid foundation
by helping you to choose the
right values
which give you
confidence
to make
better decisions

Hey, is it a craaazzy world out there or what? The pressure of schools which push you more and more each year, the pressure from parents to live up to expectations, the pressure to follow the party-all-night-long crowd and the pressure to compromise right for wrong.

Should I cheat or lie to get a better grade? Can I justify it to myself and be able to live with my decision? Others are doing it and their conscience doesn’t seem to bother them. Besides, if I don’t have good grades, I may not get into the “right” college. And I surely don’t want to be an abject failure to my parents and friends.
In its 2008 Report Card, the Josephson Institute polled 30,000 youth and found 80% of students lied about something significant to their parents, 38% cheated on a test two or more times and 30% stole something from a store in the last year. “As bad as these numbers are, it appears they understate the level of dishonesty exhibited by America’s youth,” the study warned, noting than more than a fourth of the students (26 percent) admitted they had lied on at least one or two of the survey questions. What we need to learn from these survey results is that our moral infrastructure is unsound and in serious need of repair. This is not a time to lament and whine but to take thoughtful, positive actions.”

What about partying, drinking and drugs? Isn’t life all about self-indulgence and living for the moment? All my friends are living the high life, and none of them are alcoholics or drug addicts. My parents probably did a lot of the same things, and they turned out all right. Besides, I need to wind down after a tough week at home and school. And I have some time and money that can help stimulate the economy.
A study in Psych Central (10/17/08) finds that people who began drinking and using marijuana regularly prior to their 15th birthday are more likely to engage in high risk behaviors well into their 30s. Early pregnancies, as well as a pattern of school failure, substance dependence, sexually-transmitted disease and criminal convictions were common patterns among the early users.

What about teaching that ?%&#$! a lesson for messing with me? He’ll wish he’d never crossed my path. I’m going to kick that little &?#%$’s @%&! until his nose bleeds. Stupid, %$&!?. I’ll spread rumors, I’ll degrade him, I’ll get revenge and I’ll curse until I have used all the words twice.

In 2008 Barna Group study, 64% of young adults under 25 used profanity in public, 26% gossiped and 12% engaged in acts of retaliation. These too are distributing numbers and show the deterioration in values with this generation of youth. While you may think this is making you a mature person and cool with your peers, you will realize in the future that you are damaging your reputation and creating a negative impression with others. Also think about how these words and actions affect your attitude and outlook on life.

Teens live in a topsy-turvy, upside-down world from which there seems to be no relief. And I have not even mentioned the topic of teenage sex. Our kids are growing up way too fast. They are not being allowed to be kids and develop moral values and social skills at a measured and thoughtful pace. The world wants them to go, go, go…burn the candle at both ends…be connected all the time…and live 24/7 without stopping to rest. Right and wrong does not exist. Truth is whatever it takes to justify the latest indulgence. You have to wonder if this is a dead end street ending in misery and emptiness. For many, it is, and we are not sure if they are enjoying the ride or not.

The project is a different take and a different perspective on life. First, the project contains the word LOVE. This is how we think about LOVE. Love is the most powerful and all-encompassing word in the human language. It is the very best of mankind and can form the basis of many of our values. Love is a warm and glowing light, radiating from within, the ultimate expression and beyond comprehension. Love is not only about all that is good and just, it also minimizes behaviors and habits that are harmful and destructive to us and to others. Our definition is as follows:

Peace …Joy …Happiness
Truth …Honor …Dignity
Respect …Responsibility …Trust
Kind …Patient …Sharing
Humble …Appreciative …Generous
Caring …Serving …Healing
Uplifting …Motivating …Exhilarating
Belief …Hope …Enduring
In us, with us and around us

Does not lie, steal or cheat
Does not brag, hate or kill
Is not jealous, envious or suspicious
Is not arrogant, deceitful or malicious
Is not hurtful, degrading or harmful
Is not self-indulgent, self-centered or self-absorbed
Does not live in darkness, destruction or desolation

In our view,

means sharing

sharing means we

We want to be a resource and a sounding board for you as you journey through the teenage years. It’s not going to be easy, and there will be days when you feel depressed, mad at the world, embarrassed and ready to pack up and leave, along with many other emotions. But, you know what? Life will return to normal, someone will give you a hug, kiss, pat on the back or the next situation will work out better, and happiness will once again grace you with its presence.

We encourage you to think about who you are and who you want to be as you grow into adulthood. Think about it in terms of the values you live. These values will determine your reputation, the memories you leave with your friends and schoolmates and, ultimately, are the basis for your tombstone when your journey on earth ends. The good news is that the choice is ultimately up to you. You can decide if your values will distinguish between right and wrong. You can determine how you are going to treat others. You can think about your words and actions before saying and doing. You can decide if you want to live the way of life or Live-A-Lie Every Day.

Living a life in which your thoughts, words and actions are in the spirit of LOVE will not be easy at times. It will take some work and discipline on your part. Your friends and the world want you to live without boundaries, do whatever makes you feel good and do whatever it takes to make the grade. They will want you to validate and justify their unbecoming behaviors and actions. You are going to go against the flow at times. Friends will ignore you. You won’t be on the party list. Sometimes you will feel isolated and alone. We will be there to help and make sure that you have a Support Group working with you.

A Support Group is one or more people you choose to help you on the journey. A Support Group will talk to you and listen to you. A Support Group will keep your conversations private. A Support Group may help you see things from your parent’s perspective. A Support Group will offer you advice. A Support Group will encourage you and root for you. A Support Group will not take the place of a parent, but will be there for you on a regular basis. We will introduce you to a Support Group. We will root for you as well because we have a teenager who has gone through the same experiences.

Join us on Facebook at

to start connecting with others that are on the same journey.

This exercise is not going to make you perfect, and perfection is not the goal here. We are helping you define who you are by the values you live. We are trying to make you more confident and comfortable with yourself as you journey through the teenage years. We think that if you know your values, it will help you make better decisions. We also are putting you in a position where those around you do not have to question your motives or intentions in your friendships and relationships. We hope that you will know exactly who that person is when you look into the mirror. We hope that you will experience more inner peace and happiness as well as have more positive experiences with people you meet. We are telling you that it is OK, all right, fine, acceptable and your obligation to allow the LOVE that is in you, with you and around you to be shared with your friends and the world!

Remember,

means sharing

sharing means we

So, what are our values and which ones should you choose? Values are our belief system and our ability to distinguish right and wrong. They are the behaviors we should attempt to live and emphasize such as the ones in the first part of our definition of LOVE, and they are the ones that we should try to avoid or minimize such as the ones in the latter part of our definition of LOVE. If we think about all our words, thoughts and actions in terms of spreading , we will naturally minimize many of the negative behaviors that creep into our lives. Focusing on the slogan will help to control our thoughts and tempers, reduce our cursing and hurtful language and cause us to pause before we act in a malicious manner.

To help with the discovery process, ask your Grandparents and Great Grandparents what their values are. After all, they are the people that made this country the greatest and most generous nation in the world. Ask them to tell you about their life and the history of your family. Ask them how they reacted when your parents reacted were caught using profanity, lying or cheating. Ask them if they take personal responsibility for their actions. Ask them about Truth, Honor and Self Control. Ask them how they want to be treated and how they treat other people. Ask them what they think about dating and marriage. Ask them why they go to church or believe in God. Ask them if they are satisfied with their life. Listen to them and learn from their experiences.

Everyday!!! is the key to success. Paste your list of values to your bathroom mirror or put them on your computer or cell phone. Review your values and reflect upon them everyday!!! Have our slogan become part of your thought process and daily routine. We strongly believe and sincerely hope that it will make a difference in your life.

or you can pick a few such as the list below.

Let’s by saying…

If lists are not for you, write down one of the following:

—Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.
—Love your neighbor as yourself.
—Or simply right down our slogan,
means sharing
sharing means we

We think three other topics deserve some discussion. You have the ultimate choice in each of these topics. You can choose to participate or you can choose to be disciplined and not engage in detrimental behavior.

The first is technology. The computer and the cell phone have truly changed the world, both positively and negatively. We can access information and communicate with anyone in the world. Technology allows us to have a much broader network of friends and acquaintances. Just be careful where you are going on your computer and who you are communicating with. There are a lot of Web sites that you should not be visiting due to their sexual content or hateful language. Also, think about what you are writing to your friends, the type of language that you use and if you really want all the friends you have invited onto your social networking site. You have the right and obligation to choose your friends. It is OK to say no to those you do not want to be associated with.

The second is alcohol and drugs. Underage drinking is against the law and using drugs is illegal. We encourage you to stay away from both, and just say no if either is offered to you. They can lead to emotional and physical damage, destructive behaviors and a myriad of money and legal problems. Life itself is so precious that this should energize us and should serve to stimulate and motivate us each day. We should not need anything other than the air we breathe to be excited about living everyday!!! But the choice is yours.

Finally, teenage sex is increasing. Some of it has to do with alcohol and drugs. Some of it is opportunity and lack of discipline. Some of it is a lack of self-worth or the need to feel “loved.” There may be other reasons as well. Ladies, Gentlemen, you have to decide. What you do with your sexual desires is part of your reputation and how others will remember you. We think there are unintended consequences to participating in teenage sex, and saying no is always an option for young men and women. The dirty little secret is that not everyone is doing it even through the world wants you to think they are. Think about all this in terms of how a true lady or gentlemen would act and whether a few minutes of pleasure or a friendship is more meaningful.

If any of these behaviors or any others on your list are taking too much of your time or consuming your life, we would like to help. Put them on the No or Minimize list as a reminder. We all veer off the road from time to time and pick up bad habits that we need to break. For a few, it may become a compulsion or feel like you’re driving off a cliff. Sometimes breaking the habit is relatively easy, and other times it requires a lot of assistance, self discipline and encouragement from others. Contact us and we will visit with you and be a resource for you.

One final thought, and it involves one of the sayings I have had taped to my desk for many years. It is a quote by the philosopher, Aristotle:

Isn’t that true with almost everything in life? Aren’t lying, stealing, cheating and cursing just bad habits that we get into? Isn’t it the same with all our self-indulgences—our toys, our petty jealousies, drinking, the places we go, the Web sites we visit and the messages we send? Let’s substitute these words for excellence:

Isn’t that true with almost everything in life? Aren’t lying, stealing, cheating and cursing just bad habits that we get into? Isn’t it the same with all our self-indulgences—our toys, our petty jealousies, drinking, the places we go, the Web sites we visit and the messages we send? Let’s substitute these words for excellence:

We are what we repeatedly do. Lying, therefore, is not an act, but a bad choice.
We are what we repeatedly do. Cursing, therefore, is not an act, but a bad choice.
We are what we repeatedly do. Drinking/Drugs, hanging around the wrong people therefore, are not acts, but bad choices with consequencs.

You get the picture. We all need to work on breaking the bad habits that take time away from our relationships, damage our reputation and diminish the memories of those we meet on life’s journey. Let’s put our real values in the sentence, the values we are striving to live.

We are what we repeatedly do. Truth, therefore, is not an act,
but a free choice and a way of life.
We are what we repeatedly do. Respect, therefore, is not an act,
but a free choice and a way of life.
We are what we repeatedly do. Responsibility, Self Control, therefore, is not an act,
but a free choice and a way of life.

Regardless of the words substituted for excellence, the first sentence of the quote applies to all of us. “We are what we repeatedly do.” We sincerely hope you take this opportunity to explore, discover and define your values with our template and truly hope that this exercise will have a positive impact and influence on your life. Please join us as we and remember:

means sharing
sharing means we
with all the people that we meet in life’s journey.

Template

1. Take some time away from your daily routine to think about where you are in life, who you are and how you will be remembered.

2. Think about habits and behaviors you want to stop or minimize.

3. Think about the person you want to be today, tomorrow and the rest of your life and the values you want to emphasize in your life.

4. Write both of those lists.

5. Narrow the list to your values—those that will define you and your reputation.

6. Put your values statement in a prominent place to remind yourself everyday!!!

7. Read it and reflect on it everyday!!!

8. Think about your words, thoughts and actions in terms of the slogan.

9. Remember that you are “what you repeatedly do.”

10. Team up with a mentor, friend or small group for support and accountability.

11. and share your journey with us.